"We have some impulse within us that makes us want to explain ourselves to other human beings. That’s why we paint, that’s why we dare to love someone- because we have the impulse to explain who we are. Not just how tall we are, or thin… but who we are internally… perhaps even spiritually. There’s something, which impels us to show our inner-souls. The more courageous we are, the more we succeed in explaining what we know."
There's a small land behind my house, a land that dont belong to us, its abandon since we move in so it become our backyard for now until an up coming construction project will be held in the future.
Vegtables and fruits were grown in my backyard, they fruit so much, and my mom so proud of them. Instead of using fertilizer, she use the good o'l organic way; fruit skins, fish water, and other food waste. My mom have to give away to our neighbors and close friends, as we could not finish them, even squirrel have their shares too. Its kinda annoying sometimes but people always say, fruits eaten by squirrel are the most delicious ones. but too bad we have to eat their left overs lol.
Dead animals are burried there too. Our pet dog which i have no chance to meet her for the last time and some half dead birds i found in the school compound during secondary school which i thought i could save them.
I'm so excited and nervous as this is my first time selling my clay charms in a bazaar! I even have some custom orders, which is kinda overwhelming. haahah in a good way of course.
finger crossed! hopefully people will like my creations as much i love to create them.
Having a real job after graduate from Tertiary education is like a new chapter of life, having place that belong after leaving college, get independence financially; one step towards to become an adult, able to give a "satisfying answer" when random people ask about,and maybe something let parents to brag about their kids.
but when things is not what as expected,
is like when first enter kindergarten, you cant wait to make new friends; but everybody seems to walk away. either u are just not good enough or, they dont think u belong there. u feel rejected and left out. You told ur parents, ur parents said "its okay, its just the first day of school" but day by day, month by month, things didnt get any better; they just look at u and smile, without a word. but deep down inside you know they worried about you too.
some kids might want u to join them to play, when you just got happy and thought u have friends finally, but before u know it, they already found other kids to join. you even try to change ur self so u can fit in, but things just got worst, especially what u feel. Thats when u know playground can be mean and scary. Others might joke around u dont have any groups; and say u didnt try hard enough. they might not mean anything, but somehow it smacked ur face real hard.
so if u are a lonely lost kid, instead feeling down and desperately change yourself for sake to fit in. why not spend that time to learn about yourself, improve yourself for YOURSELF sake. If you know yourself alittle bit better, eventually u will know what to do. Road might be longer, or harder, but at least might mayb lead to a brighter sunrise.
It took me nearly a year to learn this lesson.
P/s : thank you those who give me encouragement all these while and pull me out from this pit; it really means alot to me.