wide eyes open

Eyes should be wider than the mouth.
brighten the blue and cover up the dark.

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take me to the sky

i love everything about this video.. colour grading, composition, and of cuz the song it self!! hahahaha..compared to other owl city song.. this is much more lively ; its bring so much positive energy that i can replay endlessly. i feel so inspired now . hahahahaha!

* y i havent watch tat movieeee T_T"

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bitter sweet

a cup of hot cocoa is holding,
warm enough to sip and drink.
warm enough to wrap around the knees,
while wide eyes keeps staring.
strong enough not to blink

put as much marshmallow.
dunk with butter cookies.
sweet enough to tickle the teeth.
but cant deny still the cocao that wanted to feel.

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one last standing

one thing i like about posting stufs in my blogspot is i dont have to care who is reading or whenever i want to post. them as my blog is most probably unknown (expect those who care.. hahaha.. thanks guys :)
mayb that;s how my blog's name work. heheh!

nomatter how less visitor my post have. but sometimes i do hope specifically someone will read my blog

mayb that;s how my blog's name work. x3

As i grow up, i realize i'm type of person who never handle " the fact" well, especially "ugly truth". mayb is because the incertitude within me jumble around in my mind and cause me somehow brain damage for thinking too much :/ so since a kid, its hard for me to know my school result, or specific questions and i want the answer so desperately. Even know my own weight is killing me. trust me i haven't weight myself almost a year. haha!

just like after i got the news that my granny died last year, i was totally emotionless. i feel nothing. at first i tot probally is because i have not much deep relationship with my granny who we viist her once a year, hardly even comunicate as i dont share the same language and she cant even recognise me. At some point i think i was heartless. i really feel bad about myself.

During her funeral, parents ask me to see her for the very last time. i dare not look at her, i dont know why i dare not look at her , probably is i was afraid of dead body, makes me feel like an useless granddaughter, i dont know, After an hour of "mentally preparation" i finally take my step to "see her". At the very right moment after i look at her. she was sleeping in her coffin. the snow white scene started to play in my head. and that;s the time the message really register my head " she went to heaven"

my tears started to roll.. i cried and cried . and i finally know i'm not heartless, i just dare not face the fact that my grandma was already flew to heaven.

people may have many enemies but i always believe the greatest and only enemy we have is always ourselves . when we feel down, is not people around pull us down but is our inner voice who pull us down, nobody can make us feel bad or control how we feel but our own. no doubt that tons for good opportunities flew away because of our inner voice, makes us dare not move our step . but sometimes i do believe is our fate, who knows the so called good opportunities is a bad one and mayb that;s the right thing to do to prevent worst might happen..



see, i'm giving myself excuses again -__________-"

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dear deer.

i'm a expressive person, especially when i'm happy and angry/annoyed but sometimes i just keep things in. Usually people might think i dont talk much about what i feel as i usually the listener or talk about general topics.Basically I love to spill out everything what from my mind , is like a a voice(many of them) inside me try to jumps out and want to meet the world. But somehow tat little voice doesnt know the way out, because i am not good in speech.. seriously lol. so now matter how i try to tell others, people dont really get what i mean, at the end i dont feel "satisfied" and i feel so stupid. hahah.

There is times i am "fluent" in talking. That is when i am in a the mood, nothing holding back in. But usually i will ended up feeling guilty or being to "exposed" and worried did i offended anyone.

occasionally i blog about them but i am lazy and i took a very loooong time to write a post until i feel satisfied. (for example today, because i am free and the mood is there)

The best feeling is when i bump on to quotes or "Statement" or lyrics that hit me, and i will go "U SPEAKS FOR ME!" i will dance to joy (at least my upper half of the body is) i will jot them down, i had a collection previously, but they went bye bye (dont ask me, is a sad case T__T ) Anyway, i admire people who knows how to use and play around with words, not just bombastic or twisted words but simple words to describe something. somehow not straightforawd nor hidden around the bushes,, it just "click" to u.

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forever 21

its been awhile i grab my tablet and draw, for the sake of .. drawing, and nothing else, not assignment related or being force to draw..but only emotion, my mind, my soul.

but frankly i miss painting with real paints and brushes, but rite now, this is good enough.

a month more to go 2011 is coming to the end,

2011 is a one great year of my life, being 21 i realize a lot of things

about life, being myself and others.

every people have unique way of thinking, dont expect what others are thinking, or doing.

dont think about others base on what u know. because u are not them

if not pile of misunderstanding will end up front of u.

and might cause u lost a friend.

try to ask , be open heart,

because their reason and explanation might things u never think of.

and makes u know that person deeper.

just express yourself whenever u think is needed

dont keep it everything inside.

well.. that's a reminder for me, incase u are wondering.. hahaah

although i whine alot (cant avoid, that;s one part of my nature)..

but i'm soo grateful anything that happen, good and bad.

gez, i should really start to learnt not to whine tat much xD haha

never feel so good before.

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i felt defeated.
sorry i let u down.

mayb i should just in the corner
with my blanket.

dont ask

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