"you have changed" pt1

its been awhile seen i last updated my blog; i was busy with stuffs while listening to podcast (if there is actually someone care to know that is. hahaha)

random topic been floating around my head for awhile. maybe it is not blog-worthy but at least its something i can occupied my blog hahaha :

i used to be a non coffee drinker. because coffee gives me headache and i will be extra sleepy later. but i do like ice blended or frappacino once awhile. ( for the whipped cream of cause) 

but since after i work in a cafe 1 and half  years ago. at first i was just helping out and eventually i learn to brew coffee thus i need to taste the coffee shots (learn to differentiate good n badly brewed coffee) 

for the first few weeks was a disaster for me. i got bad headache after a cup .. it was so bad i would just sleep during my days off... so i was a "barista-who-dont-drink-coffee" but slowly my body starting to tolerate coffee; without having big stupid headache..and in fact starting to enjoy drinking coffee.. 

at this point people around me starting to be surprise;  "since when you drink coffee??" they asked. this kinda caught me off guard... thinking.. "oh my god.. i've changed.." 

but slowly i realize that i really need my "coffee fix" everyday, i get a big headache whenever i don't have my coffee before evening (how ironic ) ; one time i even vomited  n stay in bed towards the day and im not being dramatic here.(how i know it is because i skipped my coffee u asked? because i already recognize how was the discomfort and the ache was like ) 

now, whenever i got out.. i would excuse myself no matter what , to find a nearest cafe to get my coffee; i would make sure my home have coffee stock up:  i dont want coffee, but i need coffee

yes,  really take my coffee break that seriously. 



"The nuns taught us there are two ways through life … the way of Nature… and the way of Grace. You have to choose which one you’ll follow. Grace doesn’t try to please itself. Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. They taught us that no one who loves the way of grace…ever comes to a bad end. "



I don’t want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your sister this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like Europe on the left side of your neck. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother’s house that one summer. Call me when I’m half asleep and tell me why you believe in God. Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I’ll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don’t want someone who just talks about the weather.



look at yourself as a colour, you may not be everybody's favorite colour.
but one day, u will meet someone who needs you to complete his picture. 



It’s messing people up, 
this social pressure to “find your passion” 
and “know what it is you want to do”. 

It’s perfectly fine to just live your moments fully, 
and marvel as many small and large passions,
 many small and large purposes enter and leave your life.

 For many people there is no realization, 
no bliss to follow, no discovery of your life’s purpose. 
This isn’t sad, it’s just the way things are. 

Stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees.



.. I always have such need to merely talk to you. Even when I have nothing to talk about — with you I just seem to go right ahead and sort of invent it. I invent it for you. Because I never seem to run out of tenderness for you and because I need to feel you near. Excuse the bad writing and excuse the emotional overflow. What I mean to say, perhaps, is that, in a way, I am never empty of you; not for a moment, an instant, a single second...



this start happen since a year ago when i pass by one boutique which is in the building i usually go. This boutique have not just one but around 5 easel for their promotion stand placing around the building. i will stare at the easel whenever i pass by and i have this urge to steal it because they are just soo beautifulllll.. (but i couldnt. cctv are everywhere haahah ) 

anyways, one day i went to this boutique for some window shopping and i found out not just 1 but 5 easels kept inside the store, how i found out? i just saw them haahah. for me of cuz i gone gaga.. after asking the shop keeper,  i found out those easels was usually from an art gallery/ studio and given to the shop. i have high hopes for having them as now i tot they might need it anymore(instead of keepin then in the store..they deserve better!! ). i was so exited and ask the shopkeeper whether they can sell me in a cheaper price. but turns out they are not selling them.. which is quite a bummer.

 i'm not sure was it me or is a trend now for shop now using easel as their promotion/ menu stand. because apparently i see easels everywhere.. not just any ordinary easle. but those good quality fancy ones!! thus is not cheappp.. which drive me nutss . 

but its okay. i have my own DIY one.. is from an old wooden bed frame hahahaa.. 



The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd; the longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.

  protect them while they are still exist.



i watched this studding video last month if not mistaken, it has given me quite an impression and i think i will remember this video for some times. 

as the video is deep, no doubt this video will make the audience think; everybody has their one interpretation. 

for me this video reminds me my first life lesson and swear i will never make the same mistake again which is don't change yourself for people;  especially those who manipulate and conceive you need to change; for the better, for your own good... they say. 

they will convince you with their twisted words; condemn you indirectly and makes you believe you wasn't good enough for anything or anyone;  they can ask u too change your style, change your habit. but ask you to change who u really are on the inside for me its quite over the line. 

especially those wants you to change everything about you; strips u into pieces and makes you feel so lost; its like messing up your sense of direction. God knows why that's the time when they choose to walk away. 


simple stuffs

i almost forgot how much i love adobe illustrator.


mural painting

this is a commissioned mural art for a restaurant and this is my second tree. somehow i felt i have this tree fate; i love trees . grow with trees and i stay around trees, now i got to paint'em ! 


be goat.

Chinese new year is coming soon, so lets have a goat year and be goat. (pun intended)

oh yes! it's printed in shirts too! available in lovit.com


flower dream

The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, 
when you are between asleep and awake, 
when you don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy, 
when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul;
that the dream is reality, and it really happened.



1: What is something you’d like to say to your best friend?
* heyyy....

2: What is your zodiac sign? Do you read your horoscope?
* Imma Virgo. I read my horoscope but not as often as before

3: What position do you usually sleep in?
* usually fetus or prawn? or face facing up.. 

4: Do you get into arguments a lot?
* not really . Just don't hit my button 

5: What is your favorite hot beverage?
* iced milo~~ 

6: Who is your favorite Pokémon?
* ninetales n vulpix

7: Name a band you wish more people knew about.
* never shout never. Despite the punk rock look but their song are actually quite nice.

8: What’s something that’s bothering you right now?
* a lot of things. 

9: Do you consider yourself an honest person?
* quite 

10: Are you currently in a relationship?
* no 

11: What kind of things could someone expect in a relationship with you?
* understanding n faithful? lol.. I dunno 

12: What was your first word?
* I think I was singing in baby language with a so called mic.. Until my parents tot I will be a singer one day lol 

13: When was the last time you went on holiday? Where to?
* 2 days in genting.. Last week? Lol

14: Are you a people person?
* depends on my mood and with who.

15: Talk about the last book that you read.
* currently reading "the fault in our stars" outdated? I know haha 

16: Random facts about my siblings.
* everyone has temper issue  hahahhah

17: Random facts about my friends.
* everyone is around my age lol 

18: What is (one of) your favorite poem(s)?
* poems by shel Silverstein. His poems are quirky n witty. The one I remember the most is "mask" and "tusk, tusk" 

19: What is something that you can cook really well?
* soup, stir fry vege  or oats porridge hahaha 

20: What is a hobby that not many people know you do?
* search n listen to sad songs, especially Malay and indo. 

21: Do you usually text a people first?
* depends who 

22: Tell a ghost story/urban legend.
* most ghost are lonely souls.

23: What’s your favorite kind of soda/pop/whatever you call it?
* those with ice creammm n not so gassy 

24: What was something important that someone said to you once?
* "no matter how complicated life gets, don't lose your spark " this really hits me. but I forgot from who. i think is from my unicorn sista 

25: Are you a clumsy person?
* yes 

26: Do you enjoy singing?
* Yess but not good at it lol.

27: Appearance-wise, what’s something that you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?
* neat, decent guy, Hair comb slightly to the back or side. ( cuz I'm messy lol.. Speaking of yin n yang) lolol

28: What’s your favorite dinosaur?
* herbivore and friendly T Rex lolol. I like Sauropods too

29: What’s the last thing you regret doing?
* approve that human to stay in the house. 

30: Do you try to eat healthy?
* Yess sometimes no

31: What was the last thing you ate?
* sandwiches 

32: What was the last thing you watched on tv?
* cooking reality tv show lol

33: What size shoes do you wear?
* usually 7 or 8

34: How many books have you read this year?
* 2015? none .. Yet lol 

35: Have you ever had detention? Reasoning?
* no .. I'm a good student Lolol

36: What’s your relationship like with you parents?
* parents kind of relationship? Lol 

37: How did you meet your best friend?
* fate.. hahhaahahah

38: Do you know how to read music?
* yes l, simple ones though lol

39: What is something you do out of habit?
* I couldn't think of anything  

40: Random lyrics. Go~
* I'm not bulletproof, now u know


happy new year

"I’ve learned that no matter what happens, 
or how bad it seems today, 
life does go on, 
it will be better tomorrow. 

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person 
by the way he/she handles these three things:
a rainy day, 
lost luggage, 
and tangled Christmas tree lights. 

I’ve learned that regardless 
of your relationship with your parents, 
you’ll miss them 
when they’re gone from your life. 

I’ve learned that making a “living” 
is not the same thing as making a “life.” 
I’ve learned that life sometimes 
gives you a second chance. 

I’ve learned that whenever 
I decide something with an open heart, 
I usually make the right decision. 
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, 
I don’t have to be one. 

I’ve learned that every day 
you should reach out and touch someone. 
People love a warm hug, 
or just a friendly pat on the back. 

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. 
I’ve learned that people 
will forget what you said, 
people will forget what you did, 
but people will never forget how you made them feel."

good bye and thank you 2014


flower soul

"...If we are betrayed, we know the words to say; when a loved one dies, we know the words to say. If we want to play the stud or the smart-ass or the fool, we know the words to say. We are all working from the same dog-eared script.
It’s a very difficult era in which to be a person, just a real, actual person, instead of a collection of personality traits selected from an endless Automat of characters.
And if all of us are play-acting, there can be no such thing as a soul mate, because we don’t have genuine souls.
It had gotten to the point where it seemed like nothing matters, because I’m not a real person and neither is anyone else.
I would have done anything to feel real again...


♥ no copy cat please :)   © -Jean Lynn- I'm little bit of everything 2014

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