six feets under

only the green grass i could tell 

Soft pastel is my all time favorite. i love color pencils and water color as well. This was done with soft-pastels and colour pencils. Its been awhile i do an actual traditional artwork as wacom is so much convenient, no need clean up and endless undo hohoho   

but cant deny, traditional artworks are much fun to do and hopefully i can try oil painting.


Jack Frost

its too cold outside.


midsummer station

"And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about."


dead hearts

They moved forward, my heart died
They were kids that I once knew

"So tomorrow there will be another number
For the one who had a name
A desert wind and a perverse desire to win
History buried in shame"

once walk forward, dont ever look back.


I will breathe

" Tie a knot in the rope, trying to hold, trying to hold,
But there's nothing to grab so I let go "

i prefer this cover than the original one , much soothing to the ears.
not to mention she change some of the lyrics, makes the song less harsh
me like :D


i used to write alot in a post with my bad English grammar.
but now i have nothing much to write. mayb a few words or two,
and still with my bad grammar as companion.
and now here am i,
missing the fun of writing long post.


my sayang

requested by her C:

She is one of my close friends during my college years, we know each other through mutual friend and we didnt realize we are actually staying in the same block until the second semester. and she always intrudes in my room with her mp3 players in her hand and we will talk whole day  :3

but she moved out during the second year of diploma (if i'm not mistaken). but she still gives surprise visit once awhile. 

she is the only friend in college i know who is dreamy, will get all excited with high school musical and Taylor Swift, now u can see how much we have in common lol.

hope u are always happy like u do during the pass 3 months :3



有些情绪 是该说给 懂的人听


Happy Birthday Tanah Airku :3

i miss decorating the classroom and the class-board
Merdeka atmosphere used to be so strong back then

I'm proud to be a Malaysian.
and i love to eat rojak :3



Don’t think just because there are bad people out there that there aren’t any good ones.
Don’t think you have to go through everything alone.
I thought the same thing for a while.
There’s always someone out there for you.
You just have to let them help you."

sometimes i felt i live in a total lie. lol


hello world, hello life.


inspired : Alice

"Everything's a nail, First it was your search,
freighted with fear and fragmented memories.
Now it's the train! Never time for tea.
While your brains on holiday, we're ruined!

Now we're all mad here and that's a good excuse
for going to hell in a teapot, but not for forgetting what your senses saw.
Forgetting is just forgetting, except when it's not.
Then they call it something else."

keep me awake, so i wont be left off guard.



"Is the rope I walk wearing thin?
Is the life I love caving in?
Is the weight on your mind
A heavy black bird caged inside?


late night lullaby

please don't stand so close to me
and i'll make sure to keep my distance.

* * *

i've been listen to this song for weeks lol, its so smoothing.


thank you :)

compilation of some of my works during my degree year.

i have to admit, its hard when i first enter degree in animation right after my diploma. new environments and new classmates from different country; a bunch of talented classmates and makes me even more stressful lol. but i'm lucky to have them, we are like bunch of siblings, like any other siblings. During these 2 years, we have our ups and downs. we wrench each others nerves but all of them are helpful and knowledgeable in their own way and willing to share, help and influence each others.

so thank you guys. now i know how to handle jokes, not taking everything too seriously, know the importance of unity and countless things i learnt from you guys. i'm very lucky and proud to have u guys as my classmates! and not forget our faceboook chatbox!! which makes us closer and that's the one reason i always log in my facebook.

hope we still able to keep in touch :)

we are awesome .. hahah!


we got lots to learn

still looking up



the expression i always have,
but not the expression i used to show.

screew you


just nice

i'm walking, walking in circles, endlessly
thought its was how the way it should be.
yes, i 'm slow,or perhaps i'm just lost.

mayb i wasn't good as i though i was.
mayb i did not try hard enough
how much is too much? how little is too little?
how much is consider as enough?


Through my window

usually i wont like others to feel what i hate to feel.
if you dont believe me, its up to you.
but i cant guarantee i feel nothing.
if that's the way you think, then its up to you.
dont expect me to change when i dont feel like to.
i rather be ordinary with flaws and still being me,
instead being totally perfect and being like anyone else.

i dont born to please everyone.
and everyone is hard to please.

well, that pretty much summarize everything in my head.
its okay you dont understand what i'm writing.
it wasnt meant to be understand anyway.



its good to let you in again.


oh i oh i..

do you think about me? like i think about you

I like when i discover awesome songs which i never heard before but fall in love in the first step the melody came to the ear. Its like treasure hunting, without really discovering them, just listen to them for the first time at random place and random time. One thing i like about my campus is they always aired nice songs, maybe me and the dj from my campus radio station share the same taste of song.

thing are jumbling up lately. its been a bad week (or weeks), but i always remind myself it not a bad life. On the bright-side, things will eventually come around and turn out well (i hope)
i think this is the only thing that makes me happy today.

" i'm not even trying,
but i cant stop smiling"


are u out there, can u hear me?

Irony enough, this is my first digital painting of her and i haven't been to any Taylor Swift Concert. huhu. tis is so sad. Speaking about being her big fan for almost 5 years, remember the first song i love, "teardrops on my guitar" and i like all her songs from the very first album :3

i heart her, forever and always :3
Hope to meet her personally someday.

btw, i heard this song in the mall yesterday while waiting for my friend in the fitting room. Of all songs, this song caught my attention, used song track app in my phone and search for it. Not to mention the interesting album cover. This song dances all the way to my head since.

since before i realize most September girls i know are so pretty.. why me no pretty??
u might never heard this from me.. but i want to be pretty lol


oh god why lol

for years lol



This photo was taken few years ago, and of course by me. Seriously this dog is the best model i ever meet lol. i remember the first day we meet. i hold my camera, she start to wag her tail and started to strike her pose. Thanks to her, i enjoy snapping photos of animals..hahaha..

animals are the best living creatures in earth, especially dogs. there are lots of values we can learn from a dog. They might not talk but by the stare of the eyes, the paw on your lap, cant deny they can be a very good friend or company.



Usually i wont continue my painting if i dont feel right. Regardless is digital painting or traditional painting, if the initial or the "right feeling of doing the artwork wasn't there anymore. There is no point of completing it. But for this painting of mine, i try to insist myself finish right to the end, but now turn out become one of the painting which i least like right now.

That's what i hate and like about myself. I love to pour all my passion, soul , effort, emotion (bla bla bla) in most of the things i do. But if i dont have the mood or lack of passion on doing it. instead of doing it soullessly. i rather not do.

sometimes i wonder how am i gonna survive. lol.


inspiring music video

independent artist's works are always special always unique and interesting as they are free to express themselves and not show what they think others wanted to see, as they do not expect the whole world to listen or enjoy their works, they rather have a small group of fans who enjoy their works and share the same passion with them

I always believe most inspiring works is from what we believe and passions.
and not what u think others expect from us.

If u have no passion what u are doing, dont expect others will appreciate and inspired by your work.
If u dont love yourself, how u expect others will love you as well?



i just registered Bloglovin, so...

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

cheers~ :D



"The only exception" was the only song in my head 

Bookshelf fall down,
books scattered around.
my mind is all over the place.
or its just nowhere to be found? 




Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion....” 

nomatter how long it will be,
 or the cord might get tangled.
but it will always remain connected.

to the person who really tries to open up the part of me which usually closed,
thank you :) 


95 percent

i found this quite sometime ago, but now i plan to post it here.


from the start



on the heels of war and wonder,
There's a stormy world up there;
you cant whisper above the thunder,
but you can fly anywhere.

chase your dream, and remember me, sweet bravery,
cause after all those wings will take you up so high,
as you race the wind and take to the sky
. "



" Good morning loneliness, comes around
when I'm not dreaming about you

Misty morning comes again
And I knew from the first note played
and I can't Help but wish I could see your face

smile that beautiful smile,
and all the girls in the front row scream your name.

So dim that spotlight, tell me things like
I can't take my eyes off of you
I'm no one special, just another
Wide eyed girl who's desperately in love with you
Give me a photograph to hang on my wall,


wide eyes open

Eyes should be wider than the mouth.

brighten the blue and cover up the dark.


take me to the sky

i love everything about this video.. colour grading, composition, and of cuz the song it self!! hahahaha..compared to other owl city song.. this is much more lively ; its bring so much positive energy that i can replay endlessly. i feel so inspired now . hahahahaha!

* y i havent watch tat movieeee T_T"


bitter sweet

a cup of hot cocoa is holding,
warm enough to sip and drink.
warm enough to wrap around the knees,

while wide eyes keeps staring.
strong enough not to blink

put as much marshmallow.
dunk with butter cookies.
sweet enough to tickle the teeth.
but cant deny still the cocao that wanted to feel.


one last standing

one thing i like about posting stufs in my blogspot is i dont have to care who is reading or whenever i want to post. them as my blog is most probably unknown (expect those who care.. hahaha.. thanks guys :)
mayb that;s how my blog's name work. heheh!

nomatter how less visitor my post have. but sometimes i do hope specifically someone will read my blog

mayb that;s how my blog's name work. x3

As i grow up, i realize i'm type of person who never handle " the fact" well, especially "ugly truth". mayb is because the incertitude within me jumble around in my mind and cause me somehow brain damage for thinking too much :/ so since a kid, its hard for me to know my school result, or specific questions and i want the answer so desperately. Even know my own weight is killing me. trust me i haven't weight myself almost a year. haha!

just like after i got the news that my granny died last year, i was totally emotionless. i feel nothing. at first i tot probally is because i have not much deep relationship with my granny who we viist her once a year, hardly even comunicate as i dont share the same language and she cant even recognise me. At some point i think i was heartless. i really feel bad about myself.

During her funeral, parents ask me to see her for the very last time. i dare not look at her, i dont know why i dare not look at her , probably is i was afraid of dead body, makes me feel like an useless granddaughter, i dont know, After an hour of "mentally preparation" i finally take my step to "see her". At the very right moment after i look at her. she was sleeping in her coffin. the snow white scene started to play in my head. and that;s the time the message really register my head " she went to heaven"

my tears started to roll.. i cried and cried . and i finally know i'm not heartless, i just dare not face the fact that my grandma was already flew to heaven.

people may have many enemies but i always believe the greatest and only enemy we have is always ourselves . when we feel down, is not people around pull us down but is our inner voice who pull us down, nobody can make us feel bad or control how we feel but our own. no doubt that tons for good opportunities flew away because of our inner voice, makes us dare not move our step . but sometimes i do believe is our fate, who knows the so called good opportunities is a bad one and mayb that;s the right thing to do to prevent worst might happen..

see, i'm giving myself excuses again -__________-"


dear deer.

i'm a expressive person, especially when i'm happy and angry/annoyed but sometimes i just keep things in. Usually people might think i dont talk much about what i feel as i usually the listener or talk about general topics.Basically I love to spill out everything what from my mind , is like a a voice(many of them) inside me try to jumps out and want to meet the world. But somehow tat little voice doesnt know the way out, because i am not good in speech.. seriously lol. so now matter how i try to tell others, people dont really get what i mean, at the end i dont feel "satisfied" and i feel so stupid. hahah.

There is times i am "fluent" in talking. That is when i am in a the mood, nothing holding back in. But usually i will ended up feeling guilty or being to "exposed" and worried did i offended anyone.

occasionally i blog about them but i am lazy and i took a very loooong time to write a post until i feel satisfied. (for example today, because i am free and the mood is there)

The best feeling is when i bump on to quotes or "Statement" or lyrics that hit me, and i will go "U SPEAKS FOR ME!" i will dance to joy (at least my upper half of the body is) i will jot them down, i had a collection previously, but they went bye bye (dont ask me, is a sad case T__T ) Anyway, i admire people who knows how to use and play around with words, not just bombastic or twisted words but simple words to describe something. somehow not straightforawd nor hidden around the bushes,, it just "click" to u.


♥ no copy cat please :)   © -Jean Lynn- I'm little bit of everything 2014

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